a little jordan family blog: Thankful

I post a lot about my family, about our daily life, our photos, etc. But there is always an undercurrent that doesn't often make the blog. But sometimes I just need to share a glimpse of what goes on in my heart daily.

Let me just pause from the norm for a few minutes. If you are only here for the photos, no offense taken, just scroll way down. If you are curious about the [faithfully] part of the blog title ... here's a rare glimpse deep into the heart of Jessica.

The intention here is just to faithfully share with you my own life and story. If I say anything that intrigues you, feel free to ask me more. I certainly hope I would not say anything to offend you. That is not the intention at all! Your faith is your own ... here is a snapshot of mine.

If you know me, you know that my faith in Jesus is the number one thing that defines who I am. I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. In college, my faith was given strong foundation. I was a part of an amazing college ministry, and I got to see God do miracles before my eyes. Those things remain foundational to my faith ... when you have seen God move, there is no way to question that He is who He says He is.

FAITH.

I can say (albeit without as much life experience as some, but with just enough to not dismiss my experience) my faith is solid.

The foundation was laid in college, but it keeps being settled and reinforced via a few structures in my life. I have an exceptional church and men and women of faith in my life who keep me grounded. I have incredible friends who I am in contact with every single day about what Jesus is doing in our lives every day. AND, I read the Word daily. This one is new to me.

I have discovered an AMAZING commentary that has brought the Bible alive to me. I used to dread reading scripture alone... I just didn't understand it, and my mind would just wander when I read.
This past summer, I prayed for the Lord to provide funds for me to be able to buy the Jon Courson biblical commentaries that a mentor recommended. The next day, a rebate arrived in the mail. So, I ordered the books (there are 3 books total, 2 Old Testament and 1 New Testament, each about $25 on amazon). Having these commentaries is like having an amazing Bible Study leader in my living room every day. Jon's insight and explanation of each passage is so enlightening. He brings me daily to the foot of the cross, and it has been a literal spring of life for me.

Enter in ... GODS WORD TO IMPACT ME IN PROFOUND WAYS. Duh, right? I mean, for those of you who have ever been committed to the Word, even for a short period of time, you know its living power. I have had that in the past as well, but it's amazing how it slowly creeps out of your life until you realize that you have not picked up your bible in a month (and then you ask, "Why can I not hear God as clearly as I used to?) Hello self ... it's like asking why it's hard to run 5 miles when you have not been running at all in the last month.

I have always had an ongoing conversation with Jesus in my head, but the depth of knowledge and awareness of truth has grown exponentially since I have been reading scripture daily.

So here is the thing ... with the foundation of my faith in place, a novice may think that life gets easier. In actuality, while it get's less lonely, God's word tells us to expect suffering along the way. Thankfully, my church, my friends, the Bible ... all of these things keep me grounded in reality during rough seas.

Life is full of trials. That is a given. Being a Christian does not excuse you from hardship. In fact, it guarantees hardship. This is NOT because God is mean ... it is God's merciful heart shaping our hearts to value only the things that we can take with us from this world. Read 1 Peter 1. Our sermon this week was based on it, and it was just the perfect summary of the deep lessons that God has been doing in my life.

There are SOOOOOO many things that God has been saying, sharing, and doing that it feels impossible to share them all here. When you hear God's voice and see His power and presence alive, it can be very difficult to translate that back into the world. It's hard to know what to share because you just don't know what type of soil these words will fall on. Do I share the things that God is speaking to me? If I do, will they be used for His glory, or will Satan twist my words and use them against me when they land on people's hearts?

It's been a trying year, no doubt. But, God has been moving. YES, God has been moving visibly lately in my heart, in our family, in our friends. God has been lifting my eyes ... shifting them from hoping in things of this world to fill the voids in my heart to looking at Him for all of my Hope.

HOPE. The absolute expectation of coming good.

HOPE.

What do I hope in? It's surely not this world. I've arrived. It's not worth it. I have a beautiful life, home, family, job, friends, etc. But as promised, nothing in this world will satisfy the perfection that I am created to long for. But, faithfully, my Jesus will keep my heart warm and safe while I hit the valleys and climb the mountains that are promised to me. God will mold my heart to desire the things that I will be able to take with me from this world.

This one has brought my to my knees. I thought I knew what hope was, but my hope was very worldly and circumstancial. The living hope that I have discovered in the past couple of years is a hope in every promise of God being true ... that while I can't hope in anything in this world to be certain, my HOPE lies in God alone. It seems trite just writing it ... but trust me, living the realization has been messy (aka sometimes God does not answer prayers the way you want him to or it's hard to see what He is doing big picture, but if you Hope in a living God, you keep showing up at the foot of the cross, keep trusting, and just keep knowing that what He has is better than your best ideals).

If you get swallowed up by the trial part rather than keeping your attitude in the living hope, you will sink. The cares of the world will swallow you up. But we HOPE in heaven, and it is all we need.

Don't get me wrong, God has PLENTY of amazing blessings that He pours on us in the world. That is part of His promise to us. He meets the smallest of our needs, and His burden is light. My life is incredibly blessed. BUT, at the end of the day ...

FAITH. HOPE.

Here's the thing ... being so plugged in to Jesus brings with it both an unshakeable joy but also a keen awareness that we are living in a world that is not our home. As a close friend said to me, "Your heart is just so much more in tune with the frailty of this world and your heart longs that much more for the perfection that God intended for it."

Isn't that the truth???

Some of you reading this will have no idea what I am talking about. Do you want to? Do this: commit to reading your Bible for a certain amount of time each day. Even just 15 minutes. See what God does. Need a place to start? I started in Hebrews. John is a great place to start. God will guide you. Now I am reading in Genesis, and it is absolutely fascinating the parallels from Genesis times to now. If you are like me and struggle with reading scripture, get a commentary to help you. I SO highly recommend Jon's.

Anyhow, since plugging in consistently, I feel the tension of being so connected to truth but equally unsettled by the hurts of the world.

Watching others suffer without Jesus in painful to me. With all that I am, I long for people who have false ideas of Jesus to be able to truly see and know and believe.

This living God, this Savior, this Father, this Creator and Perfecter and King wants to love you. LET HIM. He does not want anything from you. He does NOT want to demand perfection or steal the pleasures away from your life or chastise you (those are lies from Satan, who wants you to believe that you can do all things through your own strength and that God just wants to use you as his servant. Lies.).

God wants to love you, to bless you, to fill you, to walk with you through the trials that with or without God are promised for all of us to encounter in this world (which as I said, is NOT our home).

You can ignore God, and He will allow you to keep him at bay. God is fair. He honors our desires. If you desire a life without God, He will honor that, no matter how much it breaks His heart. But He wants you. He wants you to come and live and be fed and rest.

Just like He wants me to keep my eyes fixed on Him, the living hope, the absolute expectation of coming good.

My process will look different from yours. But know this ... God is real, He is alive, His promises are true (all of them), and He wants to love you. With or without God, your life will be full of trials. The difference, you can let the world be your guide (which I guarantee will be painful, lonely, and lead you astray) or you can choose to look to the beacon of Jesus, the one solid light in the storms that will absolutely be your hope, your savior, your guide, and your lifeline.

"And now these three remain: FAITH. HOPE. and LOVE. And the greatest of these is LOVE." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13. That's it ... the three things we can take with us from this world. The things that God spends our entire lives trying to give us. The themes of faith and hope have been major in my life in the last 10+ years. They are all leading up to the greatest thing that God wants to teach me. I think I know how to love. But I know that God wants to blow me out of the water with the lesson of Love that he has for me. I am excited. I know it will be hard (because the other two have been incredibly hard), but I know it will also be amazing.

LOVE. I think I know, but I know I don't. "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many gifts I get to experience in this world that are just a taste of the goodness ahead. Mostly, I am thankful for you Jesus, my one Hope, my rock of Faith, my true Love. ~ Jessica

NOW ... back to the life/kids/photos/etc. Here is the preschool Thanksgiving Feast. Adorable!!!