7:15

In case you were wondering (see first post), YES, I worked out.  Here's a super dorky pic to prove it.  Now time to start the day.  Hope you find time for some moving today.  I promise, you won't regret it.   

Less than flattering but
post-Plyocide workout is just not pretty.

Three cozy boys just waking up as mommy is done.
They have to bundle because I froze them out with the
doors/windows open because I was so hot.  Sorry guys.

... 5:45 ... get those shoes on.

Matt and I have been doing the p90X2 workout program for 5 weeks now.  I am on Week 6, day 2 of my 15 or 16 week plan.  This program is a little more flexible than regular p90X in that they recommend you take up to 6 weeks in each of the first two phases, which is why it will take me longer than just 90 days.

I am really enjoying it, but it is incredibly challenging.  One barrier is that there really is no good place to do the workouts at the gym.  This means that if I want to workout without literally falling on top of a child, I have to get up at 5 am.  I've been doing it, sometimes even before my 12-hour shifts.  I am not at all tooting my own horn ... hahaha definitely not, in yesterdays workout there were 3 moves I could not even physically do.  "Modify to finish" was the "tip of the day" so I did just that.  

I've now been up for 40 minutes.  2 cups of coffee later, some facebook browsing, email checking, blog surfing ... I guess it's not enough to just get up at 5 am to work out ... one actually has to put on the shoes and start moving.

Today, I almost didn't get up.  But I did.  I was mostly motivated by a new sweater I want to wear, which I can only do if I get my workout done in time to shower before preschool.  Hey whatever works.

So, I've killed 30 extra minutes, but I still have time. 

JESSICA.  SHOES.  NOW.  

Okay, okay. :)  ~ Jessica

Star Wars Trainee

Thanks to his daddy and uncle, Tyler has become obsessed with Star Wars.  I sort of knew that would come eventually, but I thought I had a few more years.  Nope.  He stinking LOVES to talk about Star Wars and play with daddy's toys.  He has barely ever even seen any of the movies, but he just loves the concept of it all.  He was in heaven the other night when Uncle Marc came over and they played a Star Wars Card game, had popcorn, and had ET on in the background.  Oh, these boys.  ~ Jessica

Rainy Day

Gavin is napping.  Matt is watching a movie upstairs.  Tyler is playing quietly in the play closet, immersed in the world of Hot Wheels cars.  I am sipping a Mocha Via (Starbucks instant flavored coffee to which I credit my survival working nights) and leaning up against the gas fireplace with a pillow.  Rain pellets the window.  Encouraging words sing from the Pandora station ("While I'm Waiting" by John Waller).  The house is clean for the most part but rain coats and wet socks litter the floor.  I should pick them up while I have a free minute, but I just don't feel like it.

All this rain has me thinking a lot about our Hawaii trip last year.  Man we had so much fun.

Let's live vicariously for a minute ...

Drinks on the patio at the Grand Hyatt.  Now that's paradise.  

Those were just a few quick snapshots of the 1,000+ photos we took.  It was such a great year to travel.  Both boys were very well behaved.  It was a lot of work trying to balance Gavin’s nap schedule, nursing/pumping on the road, and just managing two kiddos for 10 days away from home, but with the grands help, we all had a wonderful time.

Looking at all the photos and wading through the puddles of rain we have here now, I have been asking myself if I regret the decision we made to not plan a trip this year.  The answer may surprise you.

HECK NO.  I stand firm behind my decision, which was inspired by this truth: One-Year-Olds are exhausting.  All the time.  

Even the best behaved one-year-old is such hard work.  One’s are mobile but not safe.  They are demanding but not self-sufficient.  They THINK they are talking to you and they don’t understand why often you don’t comprehend their “words” (which makes them really mad by the way; I don't blame them, I'm sure it's so frustrating to not feel heard).  They think they are in charge and in the center of everything.  It’s just the nature of ONE.  As a parent, simply keeping them safe is exhausting.  Add in trying to keep other kids safe (no, you can’t hit your brother with your toy hammer) and trying to teach them social norms (happy screeching in the grocery store is frowned upon by the tired, wet shoppers who really just want your kid to shut up because they have their own screaming kids at home).

The thought of boarding a 6 hour flight with Gavin right now, then sticking him in a hot car with no nap, then trying to keep him on the non-fenced lanai (or run the risk of having him wander curiously down the path to the beach by himself), making sure neither kid drowns, falls off a cliff, or has a temper tantrum in the condo disrupting other vacationers experience ... well you get the picture.  Why would I spend thousands of dollars to be exhausted?  I can be exhausted here.  It may be warmer there, but exhaustion is the same, so I'll just workout a lot and take hot showers to try and keep warm here and save my money for next year :)  

It all makes me laugh and cringe.  And so, as much as I hate this rain, I’m keeping my stroller wheels planted firmly on Oregon soil for another few months until TWO is in sight. 

I don't want you to think that all of my posts on parenting are going to be complaining about it being challenging.  However ...  to be honest, I do feel that way a large majority of the time.  Maybe it's because I try to parent very intentionally.  Maybe because I have too many interests, responsibilities, friends, and goals.  I am an imperfect perfectionist (with an imperfect husband raising imperfect children) who often forgets that her true power lies in the only Perfect parent, a God who truly does take joy in helping her navigate this path that He has laid out.  

Thankfully, I am not alone.  Just to affirm my statements, I want to share a link that I found hilarious, refreshingly honest, and even made me tear up in parts.  Please, please find a moment to read it.  No matter what life stage you are at, it will give you a renewed appreciation for the tired moms you see hauling their kids in and out of the car seats in the rain. 

Don't Carpe Diem by Glennon Melton

Parenting is a joy, of course.  Just like any job thought, it is also really hard at times.  Parenting young children can make even the smallest of errands a mini-mountain.  The physical burden of hauling the kids in and out of carseats and grocery carts, the social burden of not disrupting others’ doing their errands or destroying store property, the emotional burden of knowing there are still 8 more errands that just are not going to get done because one of the kids just had a meltdown, had a pooplosion, or was just so well behaved that you feel bad putting them through yet another stop.   I loved the author’s analogy of parenting as climbing Everest.   Just read it ... she put's it way better than I could, and I just loved it.  I will be following her blog from now on.  Just glancing at her bio she is an amazing woman, as testified by here 5000+ followers.  

For the parents that you know and the ones that you just observe in daily life, please give them a tall measure of grace for the normal level of ‘hard” that comes with raising young children.  Don’t roll your eyes.  Don’t be judgmental.  Just know that either you had one of those days when you had small children or you will in the future if you plan to have them or at one point you caused your own parents the same stresses.

It's a joy, completely.  It's also pretty much like being a servant, a nurse, a banker, a gymnast, a referee,  a chef, a housekeeper, an entertainer, a teacher, a secretary, a counselor, a zookeeper, an encyclopedia, a broken record, a comedian, a musician, a packing mule.  You get the idea.    

Stay dry out there.  Grab your computer, make some coffee, and read the article.  It's worth the 5 minutes.  ~ Jessica

snow - blink - no snow

We got about 1/2 inch of slushy snow this weekend, but the boys seized the moment to gear up.  It was definitely a let down after all the news hype about snow, but that's pretty typical for Portland.  If the snow ever does decide to come this winter, we have a couple of boys ready to play.  

It's SNOWING!!! 

18 Months

Sorry Gavin, you are actually 18 months and 1 week now.  I started this entry last week, does that count?  Anyhow ...


Dear Gavin,

My little snuggle bug.  It cracks me up that your favorite word is now "up."  I make you say "please" too so it is "up peeeze" which half the time is merged to sound like "apple."  Point being that you just love to be held, pretty much by anyone who is willing to hold you.  Last night Tyler stayed at Grandy's for a sleepover so you had me all to yourself.  I tried to get you interested in playing with toys with me, but pretty much, you just wanted to sit in my lap, climb all over me, and try to make me laugh.  I was your personal jungle gym, and you were ecstatic.

You are less interested in toys than your brother was, but if you do get interested in something, you like to sit and figure it out.  Music is your thing.  When it stops, you cry.  When it starts, you dance ... and dance and dance!  I'll peek in the back seat in the car and you are just rocking out to the tunes.

I love that you are understanding everything these days, when you want to of course.  I can ask you to go get something in another room and you will trot right in there and get it.  You come back and do the cutest little victory smile.  Often times you get so excited about something like that that you almost jump out of your skin with giddyness.  You are SO smart G.  You have been talking since 10 months.  You have so many words now and will make an effort to repeat any new words we say.  A few of your favorites: Mommy, Daddy, Ty-Ty, Up, Peeeze, hi, bye, ba-NANA, apple, mow (milk), mo (more), up, many animal sounds (although a cat says "OWW" instead of "meow" to you ... probably because that is how peabody sounds when he won't stop begging for food).  You just started saying "Ninny" for your little friend Ginny whenever you see her, which is ridiculously cute.

Another funny thing that you do is walk around the house with your hands behind your back.  It is a little trademark of yours, and it is adorable.  Just like your brother, you love mischief.  If it's too quiet, something is definitely up (your current favorite now that you can open doors is playing in the toilet). Oh am I in trouble in the future :)  Rascals!!

I have always known you were going to have a stubborn bent.  I'm seeing that in your personality more and more every day.  You will hold your ground WAY longer than your brother to try and get your way.  Sorry bud, it usually still doesn't work (you were not born into a family of pushovers) but you sure put up a fight trying.  Distraction does not work well.  If you want something, you want it, and we are all going to hear about it.  Makes for some interesting and dramatic reactions when you are told "no."  Even though that trait can drive a mommy nutso, I think if we help you learn to use it appropriately, you will be a very driven and perseverant man.  It's going to be a challenge though.

I know this is well beyond the reality of an 18-month-old, but we are very much of the mindset that we "parent with the end in mind" meaning that all of our parenting decisions try to focus on what men we want our boys to become and how can we help them succeed in that.  That "end" is best summed up by: "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control" Galations 5:22. When stubborness is not paired with a good understanding of selflessness, it can make for someone who lacks most of those fruits.  I'm so excited to watch you wrestle with these over the years Gavin because I have every confidence that on the other end will emerge a very strong man with a very perseverant heart who is willing to fight long and hard for the benefit of others.  Together with your brother, who so far above all treasures joy, you will make an amazing team, always able to help push each other forward and also reign each other in.  And so, little man, in the comforts of our own little playtimes at home, when over and over I try to show Tyler how sharing is SO much more joyful than playing with all the toys but consequently playing alone and when I try to show you that throwing a fit only leads to solitude (time out) while self-control leads to togetherness and all the snuggles you could want, just know that there is method to my madness.  God helps me to see the big picture, and I pray that daily he shows me how to help you both get there.

That was a digression, but I just want you to know how much I completely adore your personality, and how much depth I see into those sparkling blue eyes.  I love you so much little man.  I am so excited to hear your vocabulary explode in the next 6 months and hear what all is going on in that smart little mind of yours.

You are my best cuddlemonster, and I love you to pieces.  ~ Mommy


Here are the photos of just Gavin from our session with Bethany.

Honestly one of my favorite photos ever of you Gavin because this is the view I see NONSTOP.  "Up, pleeeezeeee???"  A view from a mommy.  :)