All this rain has me thinking a lot about our Hawaii trip last year. Man we had so much fun.
Let's live vicariously for a minute ...
 |
| Drinks on the patio at the Grand Hyatt. Now that's paradise. |
Those were just a few quick snapshots of the 1,000+ photos
we took. It was such a great year
to travel. Both boys were very well
behaved. It was a lot of work
trying to balance Gavin’s nap schedule, nursing/pumping on the road, and just
managing two kiddos for 10 days away from home, but with the grands help, we
all had a wonderful time.
Looking at all the photos and wading through the puddles of rain we have here now, I have been asking myself if I regret the decision we
made to not plan a trip this year.
The answer may surprise you.
HECK NO. I
stand firm behind my decision, which was inspired by this truth: One-Year-Olds
are exhausting. All the time.
Even the best behaved one-year-old is such hard work. One’s are mobile but not safe. They are demanding but not
self-sufficient. They THINK they
are talking to you and they don’t understand why often you don’t comprehend
their “words” (which makes them really mad by the way; I don't blame them, I'm sure it's so frustrating to not feel heard). They think they are
in charge and in the center of everything. It’s just the nature of ONE. As a parent, simply keeping them safe is exhausting. Add in trying to keep other kids safe
(no, you can’t hit your brother with your toy hammer) and trying to teach them
social norms (happy screeching in the grocery store is frowned upon by the
tired, wet shoppers who really just want your kid to shut up because they have
their own screaming kids at home).
The thought of boarding a 6 hour flight with Gavin right
now, then sticking him in a hot car with no nap, then trying to keep him on the
non-fenced lanai (or run the risk of having him wander curiously down the path
to the beach by himself), making sure neither kid drowns, falls off a cliff, or
has a temper tantrum in the condo disrupting other vacationers experience ... well you get the picture. Why would I spend thousands of dollars to be exhausted? I can be exhausted here. It may be warmer there, but exhaustion is the same, so I'll just workout a lot and take hot showers to try and keep warm here and save my money for next year :)
It all makes me laugh and cringe. And so, as much as I hate this rain, I’m keeping my stroller
wheels planted firmly on Oregon soil for another few months until TWO is in
sight.
I don't want you to think that all of my posts on parenting are going to be complaining about it being challenging. However ... to be honest, I do feel that way a large majority of the time. Maybe it's because I try to parent very intentionally. Maybe because I have too many interests, responsibilities, friends, and goals. I am an imperfect perfectionist (with an imperfect husband raising imperfect children) who often forgets that her true power lies in the only Perfect parent, a God who truly does take joy in helping her navigate this path that He has laid out.
Thankfully, I am not alone. Just to affirm my statements, I want to share a link that I
found hilarious, refreshingly honest, and even made me tear up in parts. Please, please find a moment to read
it. No matter what life stage you
are at, it will give you a renewed appreciation for the tired moms you see hauling
their kids in and out of the car seats in the rain.
Parenting is a joy, of course. Just like any job thought, it is also really hard at
times. Parenting young children
can make even the smallest of errands a mini-mountain. The physical burden of hauling the kids
in and out of carseats and grocery carts, the social burden of not disrupting
others’ doing their errands or destroying store property, the emotional burden
of knowing there are still 8 more errands that just are not going to get done
because one of the kids just had a meltdown, had a pooplosion, or was just so
well behaved that you feel bad putting them through yet another stop. I loved the author’s analogy of
parenting as climbing Everest. Just read it ... she put's it way better than I could, and I just loved it. I will be following her blog from now on. Just glancing at her bio she is an amazing woman, as testified by here 5000+ followers.
For the parents that you know and the ones that you just
observe in daily life, please give them a tall measure of grace for the normal
level of ‘hard” that comes with raising young children. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t be judgmental. Just know that either you had one of
those days when you had small children or you will in the future if you plan to
have them or at one point you caused your own parents the same stresses.
It's a joy, completely. It's also pretty much like being a servant, a nurse, a banker, a gymnast, a referee, a chef, a housekeeper, an entertainer, a teacher, a secretary, a counselor, a zookeeper, an encyclopedia, a broken record, a comedian, a musician, a packing mule. You get the idea.
Stay dry out there. Grab your computer, make some coffee, and read the article. It's worth the 5 minutes. ~ Jessica
First of all, even though we just got back from "down under", looking at Jess's pictures made me long for a bit of sunshine and warm. It was a fabulous time and Jess is right, the kids were great. HOWEVER, she is also right that the plane ride alone would make Gavin think we were punishing him.
ReplyDeleteI read the Carpe Diem piece and she gets it so right. Parenting is hard work and you do put in you "time". I have the boys for 2 hours and when they leave (or I do) I think "how do they do it?". Then I think back and remember that you do it because it is what parenting is all about. Nowhere is it written that it is easy or that you have to enjoy every second, minute, hour of it. I even understand and appreciate the people who realized in advance that parenting was NOT for them and chose not to have children. It is hard enough when you really want the little imps.....can't imagine how you would feel if you only had them out of "obligation" or some other ridiculous reason.
The only perspective I can offer from the "grands" status is that Tyler and Gavin are truly such a joy to be around BECAUSE they have parents who do the hard work of consistent parenting. And as a grand I am blessed to be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Rather than admonish young parents to enjoy such hard work, as the now "old lady" I realize it is much better to distract a wailing kid in a grocery cart or on the trolley with silly faces and smiles etc; or hold the door open for a mom with kids and bags to manage; or whatever the situation demands.
And best of all, when your kid is "parented" to adulthood THEN is when all the hard work of parenting brings so much joy. There were many joyful moments in Jessica's childhood/the parenting...........but it was a heck of a lot of work...and I only had the one. Not sure I could have handled more than one. Then I watch the uniqueness of Tyler and Gavin and know that if that had been God's will, I would have given it my all....and probably been twice as tired, twice as cranky, twice as frustrated etc. etc. etc.!